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|I am not sure if this will qualify as a testimonial but I am compelled to respond with gratitude for a most amazing and life altering Oneness Awakening experience.|
The 5th year anniversary of my father's death is approaching and although I had resolved my "issues" with him prior to his "transition into larger life" the "parent baby steps" process was for me, a tremendous healing experience. I had the honor and the heartache of helping to care for my father in the last 8 months of his life as he suffered greatly with Parkinson's disease. I was present when he passed and although I have many happy memories of our life together, I have struggled greatly to move beyond the overwhelmingly sad vision of him so very thin, ill and suffering. For me, the "parent baby steps" process brought fourth a new vision of him sitting on the patio, smoking his pipe, with a very large grin on his face. In my perception he even winked at me as he often did in life! I know all is well!
I registered for the Course with every intention of becoming a "Blessing Giver" but began having second thoughts on Saturday. I had for some time, felt distanced from my own "Divine", Jesus and as we moved through the process I became very concerned about the initiation feeling fake and that I was not really "authentic" in my process. I really struggled. I loved everything that I was experiencing but I was seriously contemplating talking with you both and explaining that I needed to leave before the initiation took place.
During the "partner baby steps" meditation on Sunday, I asked for help, for connection for "partnership with the Divine". The tears flowed! I wanted it so much! After just "being" with that feeling, I was gradually surrounded in total LOVE and heard the words, "you are my beloved". The tears flowed and I knew I was to complete the initiation. I then asked with heartfelt sincerity, "Help me to be an instrument of thy peace."
At the initiation just as you placed your hands on my head Linda, a new song came on and the first words were "Lord help me be an instrument of thy peace". The tears flowed again!!!!
I committed to first bring love to everything in my life. I cried so much the whole weekend but feel that I have been cleansed and renewed and rejoice in LOVE and the Oneness of all! It truly is, for me, a Oneness Awakening! With much gratitude! Today was so amazing and I know I was directed to be there. Plus you took me out of my shy cocoon and made me DANCE!! That is like taking the leprosy out of the person for me!!! I also never told anyone this but I don't like to hug people. It's like a hard thing because I lost my nephew to suicide and he always would be hugging me and it reminded me of him and when he died, I stopped hugging. He died ten years ago on August 9, 2000 and here it is ten years and a week after his death where I am hugging more people in one day compared to the last ten years. Thank you again!
Most of all I feel a stronger connection to God than ever. That is why I am writing books to help them discover their path to God. In my book I called all of us divine children and we all have the divine nature to be just like God. This weekend just proved my point. Again God called me out of the blue, told me to go each direction in life and all situations put me on my path that I am on.
I really believe that this is another guide to my new path I found. I am very humbled to be in your presence this weekend. Thanks for supporting me this weekend and allowing me to come.( Tears of joy overflowing of gratitude!!)
I came home and I put a big smile on my moms face and she needed it. My mom always taught me that we choose to be happy or we choose to be depressed, what are you going to choose. I think she instilled a lot of awareness in me as I have worked through the last few years.
Now that my focus is to be more aware than I was will show me that joy is always in my heart.....even if I have to dance to get it!! NAMASTE